A Quick Chat with Claire Tonti

Congratulations on your new song "The Beast"!
Can you tell us about the inspiration behind it, why you are releasing it on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day (PAIL) and what message you hope it sends to listeners?

‘The Beast’  tells the story of a miscarriage I experienced that was very sudden and unexpected. In the aftermath I felt so unprepared for what happened to me, how primal the experience was and also the way I felt dismissed and isolated in the medical system. I’m releasing it on PAIL because I want women to know they are not alone in this experience. It affects over 110,000 families in Australia each year. It’s not something we should feel needs to be hidden or feel ashamed about and we all need to get better at talking about what really happens when we experience pregnancy loss and how we can mark the experience. Feel into the grief, create whatever ritual feels right and acknowledge the pain and trauma. 

Your new single, inspired by your personal experiences with miscarrying triplets and birth trauma, deeply explores themes of grief, pain, and resilience. Can you share how you brought these emotions into the music production, especially with the unique elements like the rhythmic felted piano, ultrasound bass, and synth sounds mimicking contractions?

I usually begin with lyrics and melody first. The song first began as an essay I wrote about my experience of miscarriage. I then worked it into a song initially on piano. I created a demo with one of my collaborators Ezekiel Fenn and began experimenting with electronic sound as an element to convey the depth of the contractions sonically. I let it sit for a while and then earlier this year took it into the studio with Melbourne producer Jeremy Chua and we began building the sound using an ultrasound base while still keeping the original melody. I listened to metal which is really outside my usual genre to explore the primal nature of my experience and then used Florence Welch's latest album as well as the vocal approach of James Blake and Feist to build my vocal sound. Especially love the percussion present in Feist's latest record In The Lightning. It felt really natural to slowly build the song into a dance track as I worked through movement as a form of healing trauma. 

How does performing live, especially with such deeply personal songs, impact you as an artist and a storyteller?

 I find it a really powerful tool for healing and an honour to play these songs and tell these stories. In a way it's a gift as I sing and share. I can feel the response from the audience and know that I am not alone. That we are all in this strange, human experience together. I then use these experiences to further develop my sound. I also think about what I would want as a listener in the audience - what would I want to listen to that would help me process experiences that are often hidden. 

You’re known for diving deep into complex themes like birth trauma, miscarriage, and motherhood in your music. How do you balance sharing these personal stories with maintaining artistic creativity?

I think one feeds into the other. For example the sounds in the Beast are directly inspired by my experience of labour and miscarriage. I think they are such rich experiences they allow you to express so much artistically - the stuff of life grief, pain, loss, love, trauma, joy - emotion to me is the primary vehicle for my artistry. What's more creative than that?  

You’ve been open about your experiences with postnatal challenges. How do you hope your music resonates with and supports other mothers going through similar journeys?

I make music and art, create events and festivals, live experiences and podcasts that I wish I had had when I was going through early Matrescence and post natal depression and birth trauma. Primarily I want women to know that they are not alone and that there are so many many rich and varied stories through motherhood and that there isn't just one narrative. I hope that they can see parts of their story reflected in mine and find ways to reach out for help. Sometimes it's enough to hear a piece of music that allows you to feel through your grief or shame and out the other side. There are also incredible places families can access support including Red Nose, PANDA, the Gidget Foundation and COPE.

You released your debut album Matrescence in Feb 2023. In it you explore themes of love, loss, and the transformation of motherhood. How did your personal experiences shape the music and lyrics on this album?

I wrote what I was feeling after giving birth to my daughter in the pandemic and shaped the lyrics through my experience and also through listening to the women in my life talk about their journey through motherhood too. I had no idea what I was writing about was Matrescence (the transition to motherhood) until I looked back at those 11 songs and saw what I had been through. I wrote the songs for me - it was really important  to me that the lyrics were honest and spoke directly into the truest emotion I could convey. I spent a long time working on the vocal quality too for this reason. I deeply wanted the audience to feel what I was trying to say as much as what they hear in the lyrics.

You’ve brought together an incredible lineup of m/others for your upcoming show in Melbourne. How has collaborating with other artists who share similar themes influenced your music?

Hugely. I'm currently making a new album and spend a lot of time listening to other artists, musicians and spoken word poets as well as authors. I find collaborating to be my favourite way of making and sharing art. I think as humans we are designed to work in community and learning from other artists who have been working a lot longer than me, who share their own stories so truthfully and beautifully is incredibly inspiring. Also it's so much fun too! I feel so lucky to have all of these incredible women coming to share their art with us! 

Your show will feature a mix of music, dance, spoken word, and comedy. What can audiences expect from this unique blend of performances?

Power. Strength. Vulnerability. Inspiration. A chance to feel everything. A rally cry for change in our system. More care. Celebrating mothers and what we go through. Ultimately we are going to finish with a dance performance to my new song The Beast by a dear friend and m/other Bonnie Dulace and then lead into a DJ set by my cousin Woody so we can dance and let it all out. Unafraid to be wild and free. It's going to be MAGIC.

You’ve recently performed at a sold-out matrescence festival. How do live performances and connecting with your audience influence your songwriting process?

 I actually co-founded the festival with a friend and collaborator Lizzy Humber. Performing, hosting and interviewing at the festival in the UK gave me so much. It was such a privilege to be in the room with so many amazing M/others and artists. I created a reprise for the Beast called 'Lilith's Song' after attending the festival and understanding how powerful it is when m/others deeply connect and create a sense of village. Connect in to our deep roots with nature and the rhythm of all things.

You wear many creative hats—musician, podcaster, and event organizer. How do you find the synergy between these roles, and what keeps you inspired?

I love working this way. Like in nature I think everything is interconnected and feeds into everything else. A web of creativity and joy, connection is everything. Music is essentially to me the rhythm of the universe, of our nature as living beings on a rock spinning around the sun, life is curious and hard and magic and taxes and traffic jams and sleepless nights and making weetabix and awe and wonder and joy in our kids. We are only here for such a short time. A blink of an eye. I also am deeply inspired by my kids, wanting them to let go of fear and create the life they want for themselves. Ultimately I am also deeply driven by the need for change in our system, to bring more love, creativity and joy back and improve conditions for m/others so others do not experience what I went through. 

You can connect with Claire @clairetonti or listen to her album , Matrescenece on Spotify.
Her new single 'The Beast' will be available from October 15th on World Pregnancy and Infant Awareness Day.