A Quick Chat with Dolly Dagger
What does it feel like to be releasing your first record under the name Dolly Dagger?
It’s great to have a body of work that’s more than just a single so that anyone listening can get a better idea of what Dolly Dagger is all about. It was really nice to hear people asking if we’d be doing a record and wondering about an EP so getting that feedback really helped solidify the decision to put the energy into these songs. It’s also quite fulfilling after a few uphill battles last year to have all of this finished and ready to release and we’re excited for what’s next.
How do you feel this EP stands apart from your other work?
I think EPs inherently feel more put together, but especially in this case, looking back at our previous releases as singles, this EP helps to define what we’re working towards. it stands apart in a couple of ways, these songs were closer together as to when they were written, and they have similar themes because of that period of time and what I was going through but also the sonic landscape; we had the chance to further develop our sound which is ultimately more cohesive than anything previously released and Jesse McInturff (guitar) and I have now been writing together for a longer period of time.
What made you choose this particular set of songs? Common overall thread/themes?
Going through all of our demos, these songs felt the best emotionally together and the lyrics that came from that period of time are so important in telling that story. Those stories usually come from my notes app, and whatever is happening in my life and these tracks tied together because at that time, I felt as if I had died. It’s that feeling like nothing is real or you’re questioning your existence. I was waking up every night at 3am with a panic and an unease or even when I was falling to sleep, I would ask myself is this really my life or am I dead? Especially if there’s some sense of repetition while you’re going through it, we go to bed every night and that same action over and over again feels like Groundhog Day, it’s the simplest thing, but it made me feel existential. So lyrically, “I think I’m dying" or “this life isn’t good enough for me/ It’s a nightmare I’m looking for a dream…” Most people can relate to feeling an unease in their life from time to time. The constant repetition of a reoccurring dream but blending into day-to-day life and starting to feel out of sorts when you’re not settled emotionally. This set of songs feels like a great reflection of the time in which they were written and they’re still relevant today. There’s a transition from everything feels like a nightmare to this feels like fiction down to it making you sick until you get to the point when you say I have to swerve away from here and it’s the realization that you need to make an adjustment to get out of this. Whatever is causing you discomfort–whether it’s a person, a place, a thing, even yourself, maybe?–whatever that situation is that’s bringing you down, you need to adjust course and swerve away for your own good.
How did this album get made? Talk a little about the seeds of the songs and how they came together. Please also list all names of contributors + contributions!
Most of our songs begin with a riff. Jesse McInturff will send a snippet of whatever is in his head and sometimes I say, “yep, that’s great let’s put it in the folder,” and sometimes I say, “not feeling this one, yet…” There’s an extremely large folder of tracks and these four were the top at the time we decided to go ahead with an EP. As soon as Jesse sends me something and I open it, if it’s vibing, I start writing to it right away. I love to grab the first melody that comes to mind because I think it’s such a great reflection of my mood in the moment so I follow it and playing guitar makes it a great workflow because I can either play something in as an example or communicate with Jesse what I think could happen next. A lot of the time those riffs already have their own feeling and then I attach that feeling to something on my end and connect them together, so it’s all rather emotional between the two of us experiencing life in parallel. We’re in a band but we don’t live together, we just hang out, but you’ve got these two people existing and experiencing life and interpreting it in different ways. We talk a lot about our personal happenings, but we’re experiencing them as individuals and then you have each side of these songs come from those moments to connect and make a new experience. Usually, the snippet of a song is quite short whether it’s an intro/verse/chorus or maybe it’s just simply 16 bars of riff but we start working together on where it’s going to go from there. Of course, things get shifted around if we feel like we want something to flow into a different space before we go to a chorus or I’ve got something else to say that’s when we start going back-and-forth on the arrangement and follow that initial feeling that the song presented.
I know for SICK, our friend Bao was playing around with Jesse that day at home and he’s responsible for the reverse guitar on the intro and that being the first thing I heard of that song, it sparked the vibe for me right away. I remember that that came very quickly, especially the yells at the front on the intro; that was the first thing I ever heard in my head when I first played the track so they’ve been there from the beginning and the chorus came really fast on that and I never changed it through tracking or writing because to me, it said it all.
Swerve was an outlier at the time, I wrote to it right away and it got left aside because all these faster songs were coming through but I would listen to it a lot and it stood out to me as showcasing where else we exist sonically. Making the EP was very fulfilling because we had some pretty staggered releases previously and to be able to get a bit more consistent roll happening felt motivating. It’s nice to find that place where you have time to do something and you’re enjoying it so you make more time to do it, I think that’s what people call “the zone”! It’s nice to be in it!
A brief rundown of songs + individual themes and lyrics for each:
SICK:
“SICK” is about Los Angeles, honestly. Every artist has a song about the place they live in and it’s not always a great reflection of the place, but probably accurate to the way you perceive it based on the period of time you’re going through it. The song is about actually being sick - whether mentally or physically - and how a place and the people around you can contribute to that. “You made me sick” is open for interpretation on who or what makes you sick, personally I had a few situations. “I think I’m dead, maybe I wished it” is a reflection of how I got myself into said situations. Maybe I manifested it? It’s an exploration of who else is contributing to it and a practice of just calling out that negativity.
Nightmare:
“Nightmare” is about feeling what the lyrics are saying “This life ain’t good enough for me/ It’s a nightmare I’m looking for a dream” and feeling like you’re running in circles. The lyric “Been around the block/ Too old not old enough” is a constant battle with the ageism a lot of women in creative industries face, you’re too old for this but you’re too young for that, and the feeling that you’ve been around the block and it’s the same stop, you’re not getting anywhere and you’ve really had enough of it. So it’s quite a literal interpretation of that experience, existing in this creative space as a woman and non-binary human; trying to figure that out and vowing to find better, to get out of this nightmare.
Feels Like Fiction:
“Feels Like Fiction” is about people who take your energy and abuse it and especially people that take your time away from you selfishly to heal themselves. Maybe they are unaware that they’re doing it, but I think we all fall into the trap occasionally. Aligning with people who aren’t right for us can appear in different forms of relationships, romantic or friendship, or work related, even family. “I gave an inch but you took a mile” - a lot of people can relate to people taking more than they give - and the lyric “Think twice before you sacrifice/ Blood leaves a stain” is asking you to think about what you’re getting yourself into, a warning to look out for those red flags! This song is really a self-reflection of “how did I let somebody like that trick me into that situation?” A misjudging of character reminds us to be a little more attentive.
Swerve:
“Swerve” is the realization, the wake-up song where you see something for what it is and choose to remove yourself, swerve away. “I let you trick me again” is holding on to something with the hope it might change or work out, but it doesn’t, so it’s time to cut it off, or, “Now that I know about it/ You’re not what I need” because the veil has been lifted and you see it for what it is. When you can recognize that you don’t need something in your life and you need to swerve away, it’s hard to recognize and hard to do. There’s a lot of grieving involved and maybe even some shame. “Peace is your torture and you never learn” can mean so many things and in many ways this track really is open to interpretation. It was written about multiple situations and themes over time in my life. There's no single running inspiration except for the recognition that something has to change to improve and you have to make that move to initiate that change.
"Sick" Video – Significance of the visuals around it? Collaborators?
Something I absolutely knew I wanted was wind in the hair and glitter flying at my face while I was being all moody! There’s such a core memory deep within me of music videos like that. Think Make Damn Sure, Taking Back Sunday, and all the great 90’s and 00’s glam rock bands that have me in a chokehold for aesthetics. That was 14-year-old Dolly in front of the mirror with her first guitar playing along to her favorite bands just in her feels, very gratuitous. The other visuals are a bit dreamier which reflect the EP as a whole, another plane of existence and feeling like that’s seeping into your real life, making you question everything. Synchronized swimming is the most rogue thought I had while writing this treatment, I have no idea why it came up but I often just listen to the song for the video on repeat and let the visuals roll in my mind and that’s what came up! Maybe because it was summer at the time and we were in the pool a lot, I saw the little vintage flower caps in my mind and the art direction in vintage films of the 50’s and 60’s always come up for me because they always have those dreamy elements, sets with painted backdrops and colors that don’t exist together in real places. I also live in Burbank so I’m constantly surrounded by mid century futurism, that look has a very special place in my heart and comes up in most of our visuals. The slightly unrealistic settings or landscapes fit the lyrical content of the EP. When I feel out of sorts, I find myself throwing on comfort movies or TV shows, so there’s a lot colliding in that subconscious of ours when we tap into it later down the line. It’s all the ramblings of whatever is buried in my brain! I see the time creating treatments and visuals as my meditation and just allow my mind to wander freely so it might even not make any sense but that’s the fun part. Jesse shot the pool scenes and I shot the purple sky boudoir scenes at home in the garage with the small set I built in there. Mo McFadden is a brilliant cinematographer in LA that stepped in to shoot the performance scenes. I feel super lucky she was available to help us out on that and really got the brief, so huge thanks to her for setting the tone with that one!
How does making music change the way you feel about the world?
More than anything, it makes me reflect on how I feel about the world and it makes me process how I feel. People say it all the time, and it's a little cliché, but it really is a form of therapy. Art is the vessel to process our emotions and then release them. It's a great place to really vent and also ruminate on the journey of life and performing or being on stage helps to physically move and release tension or stress the same way lyrics are like journalling. The music business, like any industry, has its own politics and sometimes that's the part that makes me change how I feel about the world in the sense of how not just the music industry but art and all creative industries have become monopolized and capitalistic in nature. But at the end of the day, I am a small, independent artist, and focusing on my art and community is where I like to put my energy so I try to keep pushing on for the love of it.
What is/are your greatest inspiration(s) to keep going?
When I start to feel overwhelmed, it’s movies that save me, always. That’s the one place I can check out, I can rest my mind from my own BS and stop worrying or thinking. Stop trying to make something happen and just exist as a human. I think that’s why I love making music videos; because they bring so much joy to me. Also, when I feel like giving up, I always have the thought - who cares? Even if I’m not succeeding, do I need to sit around and worry about how to do that better? Or should I just carry on to have a really good time? I always come back to if this isn’t feeling fun, make it feel fun again and then take this seriousness out of it! That doesn’t always work though. We all have times when we feel down or like we can’t go on. Half this record is about feeling like you’ve lost your power to someone, or to a place or situation. I can very quickly find myself attached to my computer and work, not taking even a break to go for a walk, just hyper-focusing through every task - and that’s a dangerous place to be in because you don’t interact with people, you don’t go out, you don’t experience anything other than the pressure of what you’re doing to yourself. So remembering to pull out of those moments and stop for one second is important. And going to see a movie or putting one on at home pulls me out of that. I actually stop and just get immersed in whatever I’m watching; second to that is baking or chatting with other independent artists and friends with whom I am able to share the trials and tribulations. Being able to talk to others who have an understanding of the entire process is extremely helpful. I’m lucky to have some very talented and wise people to turn to across many creative industries!
What do you think it takes to persevere in today's climate?
Community. Hands down, for everything in life, but especially creative. Working together, asking for help, sharing tips, collaborating and keeping positive about what you’re doing. Being able to share ideas and help each other navigate an industry is so powerful. As an indie artist, picking up a freelance job or finding a way to bring money in helps to get it done and that all comes from connection with others. Even on a super tight budget you can make it work by going to work! I love working in production, though, so that helps. I get to make art and creative and then that transfers into my own projects and the money cycles back into anyone I hire - from mixing to photography or video crew - so it’s a community. We all experience things that we feel could be better, a situation we want more from; we’re all striving for better and surrounding ourselves with people that support and understand that is key. Motivate yourself, motivate your friends and peers, support however you can and don’t be afraid to ask for help or collaboration. There’s lessons in everything and having good people around you can help process those lessons and level up because of them!
How do you use art as therapy?
I really think it’s the screaming! I had a holistic therapist once tell me I had a blockage with some new age lingo that I didn’t understand, but she said I needed to scream to release so for a while I’ve looked at singing and thrashing around with a guitar as therapy. Not everything we do has to be sold or released, not every piece of art or expression is for the world to consume. I am pretty liberal with myself in taking time to just sing for the sake of singing because I recognize that I’m stressed and need to release or I didn’t exercise or go for a walk that day. I’ll strap on a guitar and practice my live set or just thrash some songs to get physical and move my body. I think that’s another reason I keep going, too, which feeds back to the previous question of perseverance. This is my survival. It always has been and will likely stay that way.